Aaj kal 2 chezain sirf
qismat
walo
ko milte hain..
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1) Jungle main ghomta hua
white
hathi..
2) without affair wala
jeevan
sathi...
agree?? = <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Justin Bieber bar mei beer
peene aaya
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9 bottles peeney ke baad
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Waiter :"Aap ko chadhti kyu
nahi ??? .
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Justin Bieber :"Mai mard
hun
isliye mujhe nhi chadti
.
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Waiter :"Hahaha chadh gayi
saale ko.. :P :P :P
Boy Ne ek Girl Ko Propose
Kiya
Girl Ne Mana Kar Diya..
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Boy:" i'll wait..
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30 Din tak Tere Ghar k
Niche Khada Rahunga..
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30th Din k baad Girl Boli:" I
Love u..
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Boy:"
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Rehne De !! Ab Teri
Padosan Set Ho Gayi Hai.:P :P
Ek ladki 18th floor se gir padi..
.
.
13th floor pe 1 ladke ne catch kar liya or
pocha mujh se pyar karogi.. ??
. .
Ladki:" no,,, Ladke ne usay chhod diya..
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9th floor pe 1 aur ladkay na catch kiya or
pocha mujhe kiss karogi.. .
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Ladki:" no, Usne bhi chhod diya..
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Ladki cheekhen marti hui 1 or chance ki dua karne lagi..
.
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3th floor pe aate aate Pappu ne
catch kar liya..
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Ladki foran boli:" mai tumse pyar bhi
karungi aur kiss bhi karungi"
.
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Pappu ne usey foran chor diya or bola:" Character less girl, Isse accha to tu mar
jaye "Main sareef banda hu ye galat kam hargiz
nhi karunga... Pappu Rock - Girl popat.. :P :P :P
Kanjoos baap k bete ne
kaha:
.
"Papa meri GF pregnant ho
gayi h. 50,000 mang rhi
h, CHUP rehne ke"
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Kanjoos ne khamoshi se
paise de diye.
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2 mahine baad dusra beta
bola:
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"Meri GF pregnant h 75,000
mang rhi hai.
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Kanjoos ne khamoshi se de
diye.
.
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6 mahine baad Kanjoos ki
kuwari beti boli:
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"Daddy, I am pregnant!"
.
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Kanjoos ne usko gale se
Lagaya Aur beti ka maatha
chum ke kaha:
..........
"Shabaash beti, Ab paise
lene ki baari hamari hai
Teacher:"Kal school kyo
nahi aaye the ??
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Pappu:"Bird flu tha..
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Teacher:"Ye to birds me
hotahai..
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Pappu (Gusse se):"Aadmi
samjha hi kab hai
aapne.. ??
roz to MURGA bana dete
ho....
Cheetah Cigarette Ka Kash
Lagane Hi Wala Tha Ki..
Achanak Chuha Wahan
Aaya Aur Bola,
.
Bhai Chhod Do Nasha, Aao
Mere Sath, Dekho Jungle
Kitna Khubsurat Hai..
.
Cheetah Chuhe Ke Sath
Chal Diya..
.
Aage Hathi Cocaine Le
Raha Tha, Chuha Fir Bola,
Bhai Chhod Do Nasha, Aao
Mere Sath, Dekho Jungle
Kitna Khubsurat Hai..
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Hathi Bhi Sath Chal Diya..
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Aage Sher Whisky Peeney
Ki Tayari Kar Raha Tha,
Chuhe Ne Usse Bhi Woi
Kaha..
.
Sher Ne Glass Side Par
Rakha Aur Chuhe Ko 5-6
Thappad Mare..
.
Hathi Bola:"Kyun Maar
Rahe Ho Is Bechare Ko.. ??
.
Sher Bola:"Ye Saala Roz
Charas peekar Aise Hi
Sabko Puri Raat
Jungle Ghumata
Hai..
Teacher to student; Aaj tune
fir homework kyun nahi
kiya.. ??
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Student:"sir, light nai thi..
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Sir:"to saale mombati jala
leta..
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Student:"sir, machis nai
utha sakta tha..
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Sir:"kyu.. ??
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Student:"sir, puja ghar me
rakhi thi..
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Sir:"to uthayi kyun nai.. ??
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Student:"nahaya -nai tha
sir..
.
Sir:"saale nahaya kyu nai
tha.. ??
.
Student:"paani nahi tha
sir..
.
Sir:"paani kyu nahi tha.. ??
.
Student:"sir motor nahi
chal raha tha..
.
Sir:"ullu k pathhe ab motor
ko kya hua.. ??
.
Student:"sir aap admi ho ya
pajama, kitni baar bolu
light nahi
thi.. ??..
Teacher Shock - Student
Rock..
Ek Pahalwaan, jo 6 feet
Lamba aur strong tha,
bus me ja rha tha..
.
Conductor:"Bhai sahab
Ticket
.
Pahalwaan:" ham Ticket
nahi liya karte..
Conductor Ghabra gaya,
par kuchkar na saka,
par vo ye baat dil pe le
gayaa aur gym join kar
liya..
Daily wo pahalwaan se
puchta aurpahalwaan bolta
ham ticket nhi lete
.
Aise 6 months nikal gye...
.
Ab conductor bhi pahalwan
ki tarah tagda ho gya...
.
Agle Din conductor:" Bhai
ticket lele..
Pahalwaan:" Hum ticket nhi
lete..
.
Conductor:" chaati dikhate
hue"Q nhi leta bey ??
.
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Pahalwaan:" Pass banwa
rakha hai, isliye nhi
leta.. :p:O :P :P :P :P
Ek Shaitani Chudeil ne
Buzurg pati Patni ko Pakad
liya..
Chudeil:" Mai Tum Dono ki
Ek- Ek khwaish Poori kar
sakti hu
Patni:" Mujhe apne Pati k
Saath Duniya Ghumni hai
Chudeil ne chaddi Ghumayi
aur Wolrd Tour ki Do Ticket
aa gayi
Chudeil ne Pati se poocha:"
tumhe kya chahiye ??
Pati:" Mujhe apne se 30
saal choti patni chahiye
Chudeil ne Chaddi Ghumayi
aur Pati ko 90 Saal ka kar
Diya..
.
To Kya seekha sabne is
Kahani se:
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"Aadmi ko Yaad Rakhna
chahiye ke Aakhir Chudiel
bhi to Ek Aurat hi
hai...
Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hoti hai
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hai
Woh hamari gali me aaye�
Woh hamari gali me aaye�
Woh hamari gali me aaye�
Aur chillake bole�..
Paper Raddi wala !!!!!
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum.
Duniya main 3 chezee kabhi bhi aa sakti hai
�paisa�
�mout�
�aur�
� aur�
�aur
� mera SMS..
Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana..
ager wo so rahi ho tu shor mat machana,
jab wo jage tu dheere say MUSKURANA
phir khana KUNJUS sms karoo!
Khuda se Scooter manga..Car di;
Apartment manga.. bangla diya;
dost manga to tumhain diya..
Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kia
Log ishq karte hain,Bade shor ke saath.
Humne bhi kiya,Bade zor ke saath.
Magar ab karenge,Thoda gaur ke saath.
Kyonki kal usko dekha,Kisi aur ke saath
Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par,
laakh rupaye ki bat thi, do rupaye main ho gayee...
Aaye woh meri kabr par,
Diya buja ke chale gaye,
Diye mein jo tel tha,
Sar pe laga ke chale gaye...
Rok do mere janaje ko mujhme jaan aa gai,
Pichhe mudke dekho yaron daru ki dukan aa gai....
Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se,
To hum madhosh ho gaye,
Par jab pata chala ki nazare hi tirchhi hai,
To hum behosh ho gaye...!!!
Do pal ki bhi khushi na mile to kya,
Umar bhar gum ke sahare ji lenge,
Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi,
Hum Aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge..
Ques : shadi me dulhe ke saath Baarati kyun jate hain ? ? ?
Ans :- kyunki bade kehte hain ki kisiki khushi mein Jao na jao par musibat me zarur jana
Vodafone walo ka kutta aaj subah hi chal basa.
Ab vo monkey se add karvana chahte hai.
Tumhe meri dosti ki kasam wada karo tum nahi Jaoge.
Keep smiling........
Lady - shoes dikhaiye.
Shopkeeper :- kitne number ka ?
Lady - 36 no.
Shopkeeper :- jaao madam jaao, ghar se soch kar nikla karo Kyalena hai.
Jab kanjusi ka oskar diya jayega
tab tumhar naam sabse aage hoga
galti se ek sms bhi mat karna
warna oskar kisi aur ko chala jayega.
Mat pucho sms ki inteha kaha tak hai,
aap kanjusi kr lo aap ki takat jaha tak hai,
sms ki umid hume nahi,
hume to dekhna hai aap kanjus kaha tak hai
If Malika plays roll of Draupadi,
Duryodhan will say pheli bhabhi ko sari to pehna,
hum to dekhen ye vastro mein kaisi lagti hai..?
Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty so the world needs YOU after all!
Vodafone walo ka kutta aaj subah hi chal basa.
Ab vo monkey se add karvana chahte hai.
Tumhe meri dosti ki kasam wada karo tum nahi Jaoge.
Keep smiling...
If Malika plays roll of Draupadi,
Duryodhan will say pheli bhabhi ko sari to pehna,
hum to dekhen ye vastro mein kaisi lagti hai..?
Wo ful hi kya ful jisme khushbu na ho,
wo kagaj hi kya jispe likha na ja sake
aur wo dil hi kya jisme dard na ho...
Pyar me zuba chup ho to ANKHE bolti he,
ankhe chup ho to DIL ki dhadkan bolti he,
or dil ki dhadkan chup ho to?
Duniya bolti he-RAM NAAM SATYA HE.
Aansu tere nikle to ankhein meri ho
Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho
Khuda kare dosti hamari itni gehri ho
Jutiyan aapke paren aur kartoot meri ho
1 Murgi Supr Markt gai or kha:
1Anda dena.
Salsmn: Tum ande ka kya krogi?
Murgi: Mre Murghy ne kha h Darlng!
5Rs k Liy Tum Apna Figre Khrab Mat kro.
Aap aik brilliant,
beautiful,
genius,
smart,
nice,
gud looking,
intelligent,
respectful,
kind,
ideal larkay ka sms par rahe ho.
girl friend is night partner.
wife is life partner.
girl friend for fun,
wife for son.
girl friend is cake,
wife is head attack.
Machar ki makhi se ho gyi shadi,
ek hi raat me ho gyi barbadi
Machar bola apni to kismat hi khoti hai,
Makhi raat ko"MORTEIN" lga k soti hai.
Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha-
"apne bade bhai ke pair chu rahe ho,
Very good boy"
Ladka:-"Ha, bhabhiji"
Mohabbat ho jaye .. .. ..
Ya .. .. ..
Macchar Kate .. .. ..
Anjam 1 Hi Hai .. .. ..
what? .. .. ..
Raat ko neend nahi aati..!
A Boy in Archies Gallry-
aisa Card hi jispe likha ho
"Main sirf or sirf tumse pyar karta hu
Shopkeepar-Mil jayenge Boy-18 Card pack kar do..
Once a sardar was looking at a "WANTED" Poster
and was wondering - Saala "WANTED" tha to..
photo kheechne ke baad usse jaane kyon diya?
Message of the year:-
Women live a better,
longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple� A woman does not have a wife..!!
Biwi(Ghusse Main): Tumhare Dimagh Main To Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!! Husband (Pyar Se): To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho
Man:Sir,my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai
police station me complain dijiye
Man:Kya karon,khushi k mare kuch samajh nhi aa rha..
Teri yaad dil se jane nhi denge,
Tere jesa dost khone bhi nhi denge,
Sharafat se roz SMS kia kro wrna,
Ek kaan k niche denge or rone bhi nahie denge
Is Kadar hum apko chahte hai
ke duniya wale jal jate hai,
Yun to hum sabko ullu banate hai,
Par aap jara jaldi ban jaate hai.
1srdar INDIAN flag lene gaya.
Flag dekh kar kuch bola jise sunkar
shopkepr behosh ho gaya.
WHAT???
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.
.
.
bhaiya ismey or color b dikhao
Message of the year:-
Women live a better,
longer & peaceful life..!!
Why?
Very simple
A woman does not have a wife..!!
agar kabhi apko mera MSG n mile
to Plz fikar mat karna kyoki....
maine MSG ki fectori nahi kholi hai.....!!!
Jung me Raju ne Bullett Proof Jacket
ki Jagah Machher Daani Pehani Aisa kyo?
Jis me Machher nahi Ghus Sakta
uss me Goli kya khaak Ghusegi
agar koi ladki apko bhai kahe
to ghabrana mat
kyonki bhai bole to
B:best
h: husband
a:avalibale
i:in india
send to all bhai log
Santa: Aaj kisine mere BAAP ko gaali di.
Patni: Fir?
Santa: Maine bhi uske baap ko gaali di.
Patni: Lekin wo kaun tha?
Santa:- Mera BETA..
Meri ankho ko sapne fir dikha gaya koi,
buzhti sason me mahak fir jaga gaya koi,
kya ye sachmuch pyar hai,
ya Chutiya fir se bana gaya koi.
1kunwri ladki ko bcha ho gya
uske bapne pucha-
yeh kis ka bcha he?
ladki-papa chota chta rechrg dlwati thi
pta nhi kisne ye life time pack dal diya.
Aisi Konsi jagaha Hai?
Jahan Ameer se Ameer insaan
B Katori le k khada rehta Hai?
Pani Puri wale k paas.
Ekta ka New Serial:Kahani Bistar Ki
QuKI Condom B Kabhi Phata Tha
Kasauti Bra Panty Ki
Kabhi to Khada Hoga.
Only on Star-Sex
kyun chalti hai pawan?
bcoz of evaporation.....
kyun jhoome hai gagan?
bcoz of rotation....
kyun machalta hai maan??
simply bcoz of indigestion
jb dekha unhone tirshi nazar se
to hm madhosh ho gye.
par jb pata chala k nazar hi tirshi hai ,
to hm behosh ho gye......
Tere dil me 1 chota sa kona chahiye
tu hai to na chandi na sona chahiye
Bhar to du main SMS se inbox tera
Par tuje padhna likhna b to aana chahi
A Girl Proudly Says:
Meri To Har Sans Pe 1 ladka Marta Hai...
Boy- Yaar Phir Tum Koi Achha ToothPaste Istemal Kyon Nhi Karti!
Arz kiya hai..
Moorkh tha shahjahan
jo kar gya kharcha itna taj par,
har roj nayi mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke byaj par..
Boy: Mujh sey shadi karogi ...?
Girl: Kya? Boy: Achchi film hai na ... !
Girl: Kutte ke bacche ...
Boy: What !!??
Girl: Kitane cute hote hain na
jab tum is duniya se jaoge,
dur kahi ek naya janam paoge
is baar jo hua bahut bura hua
agli baar tum ek lambi puch or
char taange paoge
Insan Ki 4 Maa Hoti He
1 Jisne Paida Kia
1 Vidya Maa
1 Sasu maa
1 Jiske Bare Me Mummy Kehti He
Oye Raat K 2 Baje Apni Maa Se Baat Kar Raha He
kya kare in dosto ka ..
dhire-2 hume bhulane lage hai
bhaja karte the kitne hi sms rojana..
ab ek msg k liye bhi tarsane lage hai..
Very Funny Jokes. I like it
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